Okay so for those of you who don't personally know me, I'll explain. My mother in law, while she means well, can be a thorn in my side. She is old school, I know, but when you have a grandson with DS, you should really take the opportunity to get updated on your information. There have been several ridiculous comments made by her over the years, including-"he only has a mild case of Ds", and oh, Cameron is much smarter than the other kid with DS. Well I have about had it with these comments. First off, let's understand that there are no degrees of Down syndrome. Either you have Down syndrome, or you don't. Cameron DOES have Down syndrome. He doesn't have a mild version and he faces challanges daily because of this extra chromosome. Second, I don't compare my typical children to other typical children when it comes to intellect and I surely don't plan to start doing it with Cameron. Just because there is a teenager at your church with DS who may be lower functioning, doesn't give you the right to compare them cognitively to my son. I only hope that her failure to use common sense hasn't occured in front of this individual's parents. Today she comes over and invites my oldest son to church tomorrow. He is 11 and he made the decision to go. Now our family doesn't go to church at the moment. Not because we don't believe but because 1- we don't have a church we like yet and 2- things have been so hectic. Now my mother in law is not capable of taking care of a small child like Cameron, DS or not and she has acknowledged this. However today she shows up wanting to take Cameron to church tomorrow. I told her he would not be going to church with her tomorrow that he would be staying home with me and she got pretty irritated. She said that going to church will allow him to make friends that he will have all his life.....people who will pray for him and check up on him, not like the friends he has at school. Now maybe I'm being over sensitive, but what makes her think that Cameron doesn't have friends right now that he'll have all his life? Is it possible in some abstract universe that Cameron, even with his extra chromosome is lovable, friendly and very social and has many friends that love and care and even pray for him. I am trying to not take this so personally, but I would like to think that family could get the ridiculous stereotypes out of their heads. I mean I'm asking strangers to consider Cameron a person first, yet his own family doesn't.
Perhaps for Christmas this year, I'll give her some updated reading material on the "abilities" of people with Ds.
4 comments:
Ugh my grandmother is the SAME way! I TRY to educate politely, but it just doesn't sink in!!! If you find good reading materials, let me know, maybe I'll do the same thing! haha
It's just ridiculous.
I'm sorry you’re dealing with this it is hurtful, infuriating and frustrating!! I wish I could say I didn't have the same problem! I also struggle with the fact that these very people are supposed to be Godly people, CHRISTIANS!!??
Now I admit I am no expert in the bible and struggle with my Christian walk from time to time not because I don't believe but we too struggle with a church that fits!
But I will say that I have received the same message LOUD AND CLEAR from many sermons I've heard in all types of arenas and even in materials I've read, no matter what denomination/nondenomination
"God created man in His own image"
NO EXCEPTIONS!!
Another message that comes across loud and clear. "We are to live a life most like him!! To LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY!! Lead a purpose driven life, one that pleases him, one of kindness, giving and judgment free and the hardest of all sometimes understanding!! Yes very hard I admit and I wouldn't want anyone to throw stones cause it would certainly break my glass house!!
One of the small group bible studies I attended really made a big impression on me....
When Jesus picked his 12 apostles they weren't the high and might, the rich and wealthy nor were they the priests! He picked average people and even some that society disliked or judged and considered the least desirable or unworthy!!
So does that mean only people who go to church and proclaim the word and works of the bible are the only worthy, caring people of this planet? Are these the only people that are going to be lifelong friends to our extra-special loved ones or even our ordinary loved ones? Are these the only people who will, care, look after, be kind or will pray for them???? I wonder what would have happened if Jesus did or thought the same thing???!!!
Sorry I didn't mean to ramble!!
Well said Wendy. It wasn't rambling.. It was totally right on.
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